Friday, August 19, 2022
HomeSportsThe Royals’ new ballpark meals is totally terrifying

The Royals’ new ballpark meals is totally terrifying


I’m an enormous fan of actually dumb stadium meals, however typically Icarus flies too near the solar. That’s the case with the Kansas Metropolis Royals. On Monday, the staff unveiled its newest sandwich, which is extra like a stoner’s fever dream than an precise meals merchandise folks ought to take pleasure in.

Conceptually, I perceive the thought right here. It’s that mix of salty, smoke and candy that makes BBQ interesting on the whole, however that is simply method an excessive amount of. The problem is that we’ve a salty vs. candy arms race enjoying out between the buns, and the pork is caught within the center with no escape.

I’ve extraordinarily sturdy emotions about pulled pork. Dwelling for 15 years in North Carolina will do this. In my guide there’s just one actual sauce that ought to be placed on pulled pork and that’s vinegar primarily based and barely spicy. The rest masks the smoke and energy that goes into pit roasting a complete hog for 15 hours. Throwing molasses primarily based sauce on pork is like placing ketchup on a steak — a sin.

That mentioned, there’s a place for normal BBQ sauce — particularly if the pork is missing in pure taste, so I’ll enable it. It’s right here that the sandwich goes off the rails. Somebody clearly mentioned “let’s put peanut butter cups in it,” which tilted the stability too candy, so to rectify that they went and added bacon to infuse extra salt into the equation. The result’s an absolute mess of a meal that shouldn’t be consumed by anybody.

In case you’d eat this factor then extra energy to you. I can’t fathom placing this abomination anyplace close to my face. Simply because you are able to do one thing doesn’t imply you need to.

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